First, and most important; Do both the bride and groom profess faith in the Lord?
Although there is a lot to do in this first meeting, there are four things that must take priority.
You, on the other hand, will have prepared and have a mental outline of what you would like to accomplish. Schedule all other meetings, about one month apart, and outline what will be covered in each meeting. To clarify that no announcements should be sent out until approval by the counseling couple is given and communicated to the Officiant and church Office. Consult with other Pre-Marriage Counselors who may have experienced this situation, and certainly seek the counsel of the Elders and Deacons of the church.
Tell the couple that this final approval will not be given until after the third meeting. Fourth, and somewhat uncomfortable to discuss, is sexual purity.
It was mentioned earlier that it would be preferable for the couple to come unprepared for this meeting.
The church will not be involved in the wedding if this question is not answered in the affirmative.
Counselors should feel free to adapt this approach to their own gifts and style, so long as the essentials are covered. This guide is intended to assist you in planning and working through the counseling process with your couple. From this approach, you might be able to glean the following. Does the couple talk about their faith with each other? Are they confident about the other’s conversion, and is it true faith so far as they can tell? Does the couple seem to have an interest in spiritual things? It is a delight to hear a couple talk about the Lord, what He has done in their life, and how He is still at work.
Keep in mind also that each couple to be counseled will have different levels of spiritual maturity and needs. Some will be engaged for the first time; others may have been married before. The primary source to help you in organizing your meetings will be William J. This approach can also completely stump the couple!
If you can’t stand the person but have a great physical relationship, rethink the relationship. If one person is uncomfortable with any type of physical expression, don’t do it. Don’t push a date to do anything that makes him/her feel uncomfortable. To the best of your knowledge, what is a Christian marriage? This might be okay, but you will have missed an opportunity to gain insight into them as individuals and as a couple. With no prior prompting, have the bride tell you the groom’s testimony of his faith! Is it your desire to have a Christian ceremony and Christian wedding? If the couple knows ahead of time they will be asked about their faith, they will have time to “prepare” an answer.To be specific, you need to find out if the couple is involved physically and to what extent.
If they are involved physically, communicate clearly the expectation that from here on to the wedding, they must commit to refraining from physical intimacy.Although potentially very hurtful, it is better for the couple to address this issue now rather that after they are married.