If you don’t, we should check in in a week or two and figure out what to do next.” With depressed men and women, action often becomes the opponent.Depressed people will take forever to get help or to make major decisions, but that’s simply not okay.A week or two after initiating this discussion, sit down with your partner and say that you want him to try therapy and medication together (the two ingredients that treat depression most effectively).Explain that you love him and want to help him through this, but be clear that you aren’t going to let his avoidance of the problem (depression) make you feel depressed, too.It simply creeps in and the individual who feels depressed needs to 1) do what they can to try to keep it under control (through exercise, etc.), and 2) wait it out, because the heaviness of the depression phase usually always dissipates sooner or later.
Note that there’s nothing wrong with someone who’s depressed, but meeting them in this stage is simply not a healthy way for you to start a relationship.
Yet the guy who doesn’t take his medication or go to therapy? You’ve got better things to do than to babysit your partner and make sure he remembers to take his lunchbox to school.
What to say specifically: As soon as you identify that it’s probably depression that’s bringing your partner down, draw a boundary immediately.
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