I’m not a psychologist who has been trained to delve into your past; my specialty is helping women in the present model confident behavior to elicit better results in the future.
Pleasure your partner beforehand or during to get her really fired up, and then you can go for it.
I find the vast, vast, vast majority of men unattractive.
Mostly it’s that I don’t have any physical attraction to them, but once in a while (about twice a year if I’m on a lot of dating sites, or once every few years if I’m not), I’ll meet someone I actually think is good looking (a hint here is that I find most celebrities physically unattractive, apparently my sex drive is picky but I couldn’t tell you why – although I DO have a high sex drive…).
You seem to be somewhat aware of this when you state that you walk away from emotionally distant men – and yet you claim they’re the only people you sleep with, since the “vast, vast, vast” majority of men are unattractive to you. I agree, she’s self-aware and right to be concerned if that hindera her goals.
And here you are, writing to me, wondering if you will ever be able to love anyone. I can’t “fix” you from here, but I can tell you that something is very wrong if you only find 2 people attractive “every few years.” There’s being discerning, and there’s being impossible, and you’ve unfortunately raised the bar so high that no man can jump it. I’m just bracing for some of the responses that are coming.
And if it means you have to dial down your attraction from a 10 to a 7, in order to find an emotionally healthy guy, that’s a price well worth paying. But that’s not normal, it’s not healthy, and it will leave you no dating options whenever you do decide to take your love life seriously again.