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“It’s silly to think that you’re going to have a relationship with everyone you date,” Sussman says.“But it’s important to know what you’re looking for.After unloading on them the details of what I considered a bomb of a meet-up, they totally chastised me. So I relented, went on a second date, offered to pay my share, and still had a terrible time.

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“[That statement] also assumes that the woman is looking for an instant connection with the guy she’s about to go out with,” says Sussman.I decided not to meet Paul after that text, and when I recounted the story to my then-coworker, she exclaimed that she’d heard it before.“It’s like someone told men to be upfront, and they’ve taken it to the hundredth degree,” she said. It feels like as online dating has evolved, and women have become more vocal about what we want, men have become ever-so-slightly more transparent.But I don’t necessarily want a relationship with every guy I go out with.

I do this crazy thing — I get to know them and figure out if I they’re someone I want to be in a relationship with. I go in, I figure out if we click, and I take it from there.I can know as soon as date one, but surely by the time we’ve hung out on three occasions, the answer should be clear, one way or the other.

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61 Comments

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  2. eric   •  

    I would like to meet someone who is like-minded and does not mind this kind of situation.

  3. eric   •  

    If you are concerned that you are currently being scammed, please check the Signs of a Dating Scam, first.

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