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I feel ill at ease sometimes even talking to other men.

I’m really good at pushing those feelings away and acting “normal.” But I am bothered by my reaction to everyday situations.

I will trust Him whom I cannot see, surrender what I cannot control anyway.” Formula is the assurance of things planned for, the conviction of things seen.

We don’t take a step unless we can see where we’re going.

Maybe time is the only cure, and I need to be more patient with myself.

I have talked with literally hundreds of alumni my age, and I am not exaggerating the extent of the issue.

As I laughed, I felt myself looking down on the situation, amazed that nobody thought twice about it.

I had to push away feelings of guilt because what if someone thought I was *gasp* flirting?!

These teachings have deep, rotten roots, and it takes time to pull them all out.Lately, I’ve also started facing the ways in which the teachings of “emotional purity,” (a la Josh Harris, the Ludys, and others) have damaged the part of my brain that makes healthy relationships function.You are considered damaged goods if you have fallen in love and had your heart broken.There are many times that I don’t realize just how much strange teaching I’ve had to undo in my life.

She now lives in gorgeous Montana with her husband and three kids, loving life, writing about spiritual abuse and grace, and leading worship for church, retreats, and special events.We build neat little formulas and say “THIS will keep me safe!


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