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When you’re the Other Woman in an affair, it’s a rollercoaster of highs and lows.

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No matter what you think, something or someone, or both, suffered while you focused your energies on the affair. It’s because it’s been all about him why you lasted so long with him in the first place. There were probably a lot of times when you were lonely, disappointed, insecure, sidelined, teary, clingy, frustrated, angry, too dependent, listless and much more.

Before you go down the break-up route, do have an honest conversation with you and ask: Is this a half-hearted cry for attention from him that I hope will force his hand into making the decision to be with me? This is how you lose credibility and open you up to more pain.

He’ll just think that you’re crying wolf and it will only be a matter of time until you’re back in the affair hot seat.

Yes, you are breaking up because he can’t give you what you need, want and deserve, however, you’re also breaking up with him because YOU are better than this. Yes, you may be conditioned to think that the crumbs are enough for you, but the reality is that a healthy relationship with a man that is only with you and puts you at the centre of his life, feels far different to the flimsy ‘relationship’ that you’re in now.

That and whatever you’re prepared to settle for is what you’re going to get. You might view his wife (or girlfriend) as the person who’s robbing you of the opportunity to be with ‘your’ guy.Whatever story he’s told you about why he’s with both of you, the cold hard truth is that he’s chosen not to leave because having the best of both worlds is what he chooses (and wants). Blaming her for his infidelity and blaming you for why he hasn’t left ignores the bigger picture of the real issues.

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