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Have you ever gotten sucked into something that you were also ashamed to read? I was listlessly checking my email when I noticed a text ad that I must have seen more than 10,000 times. The worst mistake a woman can make is not seeking help.

“How to catch and keep a man.” Those ads are as oddly ubiquitous as the text link ads for Acai Berry Wonder Diets, but I always assumed that ads with links like “Why Men Withdraw and What to Do About It” were for women who are more pathetic and malleable than me. Because men are so hard to understand, and Christian Carter has spent years reading every relationship book ever published, and he has thought deeply about the psychology of men and women when they are dating. So sign up and give him your credit card for his e-book at a price of .97 and his emails (interviews with relationship and dating experts) at a monthly charge of .97.

I am fascinated by how mystified we men and women seem to be with each other.

So what is the antidote–ar the antidate to the dating breakdown in communication?

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Don’t assume that just because you’ve been dating for months you’re in a “relationship” (WTF? Try to appear at all times to be a)selective b)unemotional c)hard-to-get d)a robot woman 6. It’s hard to imagine exactly what this great emotional connection consists of, except the idea that the man “feels great” when he’s with you, better than when he is single, and you as the woman are not constantly analyzing the relationship.

It’s just that reading this stereotypical garbage, combined with the shitty and mystifying ways that some men act, make me and other women feel confused and despairing. It’s a very profitable enterprise to continually charge people .97 a month for emails, especially when you don’t honor their requests to unsubscribe.

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