Let’s say you don’t see your boyfriend as often as you’d like.Maybe you’d like to go on dates more regularly or see him a few times during the week.Most understood the point I was making in the article, but rather than relaxing and just going with the flow, they wanted to know: “How can I fix it if I was stressing too much? First, you need to realize that getting all wound up over the state of your relationship serves no purpose, ever. The next step is to get to the root of it and figure out how to solve it.Anyone who has dated long enough knows exactly what I’m talking about.
You invest mental energy in making sure things go a certain way. I have been guilty of stressing over past relationships. Things started out fun and light, I got excited about the possibilities…and then became scared that my imagined future wouldn’t come to be…and then panic set in.
It is not there to make you feel good about life and about yourself.
This isn’t to say a relationship can’t do these things, it’s just that these aren’t the elements upon which a healthy relationship is built. A relationship is an experience to be had and shared.
And then the devastation starts to creep in…followed by the doubts. He’s happily going along doing his thing while you are knee-deep in heartbreak mode, mourning the loss of what could have been and trying to figure out where it all went wrong. You cling to the relationship even tighter because you remember how miserable it felt when you thought you lost it and you vow not to do anything to screw this up.
MORE: 5 Ways to Ruin a Budding Relationship I’m not saying the relationship will be doomed after this point, but I can guarantee it will cause a major shift in the dynamic and it will definitely ruin your ability to actually enjoy the relationship anymore.
Rather than reflexively panicking when something seems amiss, set a deadline.